The Truth

Most of my posting on this blog is about my kids, family events, or the random thoughts that spew from my head. But every so often, I feel the need to chronicle something a bit more serious. This will be one such post. Feel free to click away if you aren't in a serious mood.

I have thought for a long time about writing on this subject. I haven't yet for various reasons - it may come as a surprise to some of my family/readers, I don't know what to say, or even a little fear of being judged. But here it goes...

I am an active member of the LDS church. I go to church, I fulfill callings, I try my best to teach my girls about Jesus Christ. My wonderful husband does none of those things. He has been "inactive" for several years now. He only goes to church when I request it as a favor to help with the kids. He doesn't do any of the primary answers and has no desire to change. His belief system is quite different than mine.

As you can imagine, this has been a challenge in our marriage. The beliefs that I hold so dear, the ones that guide my life, he doesn't share. It wasn't always this way. When we first met, and married, we were on the same religious page. Over time, his beliefs have changed and we have had to deal with that as a couple. In some ways, it has made our marriage much stronger. In others, it has nearly ripped us apart. I have gone through a series of emotions dealing with this - anger, embarrassment, apathy, doubt, and finally acceptance. It has taught me to truly respect others with different views, not just begrudgingly tolerate them. I have learned that we all have struggles and that marriage takes work. I have learned that as long as there is love, respect and communication in a marriage, you can overcome anything.

I have had to examine my own beliefs and decide how I feel about them. It takes much more effort to live my religion by myself. JM is incredible supportive and encourages me to live my faith - for this I am lucky and grateful. Having dealt with this for many years, my concerns surrounding it have shifted. I used to be embarrassed to go to church alone. Now I worry that my girls will be excluded because of their father's inactivity. I used to be jealous of women with church-attending husbands. Now I worry that my husband will be misjudged based on one aspect of his person. I worry less about myself and more about the impact of intolerance on my family.

My husband is intelligent, funny, sensitive, curious, loving, caring and a great provider. He is a wonderful husband and father and I love him immensely. So here is my shout-out to anyone else who has a wonderful spouse/child/parent/friend who doesn't believe like you do. It doesn't have to be the end of the relationship. It is an opportunity for both people to grow and deepen the relationship. Even though this is not something I would have choosen for my life, it has made me a better person and for that I am grateful.

Elusive Smile

After I fed Blanche this morning I thought I would try a get a good shot of her smile. It is so cute and she does it all the time, but we haven't been able to get it on camera yet. These were the best I got. We tried pinching her cheeks to get a smile. It kind of worked.

Ignore the lack of make-up. BG thought these were pretty fun.

When we went for our two month visit, Blanche was 11 lbs 13 oz and 24 inches long. She is growing like a weed! She is in the 95th percentile for height and 75th for weight. The doctor actually said "She's lean.", which I thought was funny considering she is carrying around at least a pound per cheek.

Miss Attittude

I finally looked through the pictures we took at home after we brought Blanche home from the hospital. I laughed when I saw this one. This little one apparently has had an attitude from day one. Watch out world!

Easily Impressed

BG has been using the word "impressive" lately. I think it's pretty funny coming from a 3 year old. Today's usage had me laughing out loud.

BG: Mom, my poop is green.
Me: Ok honey.
BG: Is that impressive?

Yes, very impressive.

Working Girl

It really is happening. I have to go back to work soon. I have to kiss my babies good-bye and drop them off to spend the day with someone else.

This whole time I have been thinking that it won't be too hard. After all, my manager has agreed to letting me job share. I have been mentally preparing for working 3 days a week. I can handle part time! But today I found out that in order to keep my exempt status (a very nice thing) I have to work 30 hours/week. My three days will only give me 24.

Thankfully my manager is great and willing to work with me. She is willing to let me work fewer long days or more shorter days. I can even alternate every other week to get in the hours - as long as it adds up to 60 over the pay period.

But now I'm bummed out. Technically I could say that I don't want to keep my exempt status and just punch the clock. But my manager made it clear that her preference is for me to keep that status. It really is nice to not have to punch the clock, worry about having lunch go a little long or being a few minutes late. But I didn't want to work 30 hours a week. I only wanted to work 3 days a week. *sigh

And they smell good!

This is a funny conversation I had with BG the other day.

BG: I mell something.
Me: What do you smell?
BG: I mell cookies.
Me: Where is it coming from?
BG: The store.

A Ponytail

Blanche is 7 weeks old yesterday. After her bath I thought I'd give a ponytail a try. She has lots of hair and I managed to pull together a little one of the top of her head. I was so excited I had to take some pictures. Getting out the camera meant BG had to get in on the action too. It's a little hard to see since her hair is dark and they are against a dark background, but that little white thing on top of her head is an elastic.




Blanche is fattening up. Her cheeks are getting heavier and more jowl-like. BG is a loving big sister. She helps a lot with getting me burp rags, binkies, etc. Yesterday I left them alone for a minute while I ran upstairs. When I came back down BG was putting Blanche back into her chair. I nearly had a heart attack and we had a discussion about who is allowed to pick up the baby. Three year olds don't make that list.