Mommy Brain posted today on
Nipple Confusion and reading it made my eyes sting a little with tears. So, I thought I'd tell my story thus far with breast feeding.
BG was breast fed. It took us both a little while to figure it out after birth, but once we got the hang of it, we did great. My goal was to exclusively breast feed her for 6 months and I did that. After 6 months, we started weening, mostly because pumping at work was such a hassle. By 8 months we had switched to bottles full time.
When I was pregnant this time around, I had every anticipation of exclusive breast feeding again. In fact, I was thinking I would try to do it for longer that I did with BG. Since it was never a problem with BG, I never supposed I would have any issues this time around.
After Blanche was born, she took to the breast and latched like a champ. I was surprised how easily she latched and thought we were off to a great start. I knew that it would hurt for some period of time while my body adjusted to nursing. After four weeks, I was cracked, it was still incredibly painful and I knew something was not right. I pumped and cried the first time I gave her a bottle.
Last week I went to the lactation specialist who gave me all kinds of gizmos to try and let the cracks heal while still nursing. She told me that Blanche latches fine; she is a strong sucker which is part of the problem. I stopped nursing and pumped for two days while trying to heal. I told myself I would give it another week.
Blanche did ok with the bottle. She did figure it out, but it took a lot of sputtering and soaking burp rags first. I started nursing again slowly and she latched well, but seemed frustrated that the milk wasn't coming out fast enough. That first nursing didn't hurt at all and I thought "
Hurray! I've healed and we can move past this." But the more I nurse, the more it hurts. I have tried doing a combination of nursing and bottles, but that is confusing for Blanche. She chokes on the bottles and doesn't get enough on the breast. JM suggested pumping and giving it to her in a bottle. She acts like I'm starving her and sucks down formula faster that I can produce breast milk.
So now I'm to the end of the week I told myself I would try. I'm still cracked. My daughter is confused from switching from breast to bottle and mama's own to formula. I cry when I work hard to pump and she spits out most of it. I never thought I would be a formula mom but all this making me change my tune. I think are going to make the switch.
