Monday, October 29, 2012

How to Carve a Pumpkin

We managed to buy pumpkins this year AND actually carve them. That's pretty impressive since the last few years, they have been left whole on the porch for months post-Halloween. This year I was intent on actually carving them. The girls weren't so sure about cleaning out the insides. Neither of them like being messy, so it was a pretty gooey job for them. But they were troopers and got in and dirty.

I helped carved Blanche's pumpkin. I used a kitchen knife and it didn't quite turn out as well as I'd hoped. I'm far from a pro at pumpkin carving. BG was smart to ask Daddy to help with her's. He went high-tech and broke out the power tools. This is pumpkin carving: Daddy style.
BG picked out the design (a skull) all by herself. She was pretty excited about it and it turned out much better than the spider I attempted for Blanche. It's ok, I figure they only have to last two more days. After Halloween they're hitting the trash anyway.

Saturday, October 27, 2012

One Oh

Yesterday was my 10th wedding anniversary. It's kind of a big deal. As such, we went ALL out. We both went to work ('cuz we like having money to pay our mortgage). After picking up the girls, we met up at home. We had a gourmet meal of bean and cheese burritos, did homework and sent the girls to bed. We watched TV together while I did homework. Then, THEN... we went to bed. I know, I know, super romantic and a little over the top. But for double digits, it's worth it.

Yes, really. That's what we did on the 10 year anniversary of our blessed union. Graduate school has ruined our fabulous 10th year anniversary trip to Hawaii. It will have to happen for our 12th anniversary.

I decided that I should dig out my wedding pictures to post for the big one oh. After rummaging around my office through boxes of photos, I realized a few things.
1- Wow, 10 years is a LONG time. We used to look so much younger.
2- (And more notably) I don't have ANY of my wedding pictures. I assume (and hope) that my mom still has them. The only ones I have in my house are the few on the wall and my wedding album, but nothing digital. (Hey mom- do you have my wedding photos? Can I have those?)

So here you have it. A photo of a photo from my wedding. The photo is framed behind glass, hence the glare and odd reflections. Weren't we young back then?

Happy Anniversary Honey! I'm looking forward to the next ten years.

*Update: I pulled out our weddings album and was looking through it. I left BG looking at it while I was off doing something else. When I came back she called me over and said "I don't understand something and I want you to explain it to me." When I was sitting by her, she flipped to the back of our wedding album to a shot of JM taking off my garter - with his teeth.

"Ummmm, what is Daddy doing?" she asked.

I had to laugh. It is kind of a funny tradition for a groom to take a piece of clothing off his bride and throw it to all the single guys in the room. Weird. I showed her the pictures of me throwing the bouquet and told her about wedding traditions.

Sunday, October 14, 2012

School, school, air, school

After the previous sickly sweet post you can assume one of two things have happened to me.
1- I crashed and burned after flying so high.
2- I was translated into an even better and more blissful state.

Before I reveal the answer, here is a picture of that happy, blissfully unaware time.
This was taken on the day of school orientation. This is my good friend who is in the program with me. After our orientation, we spent the afternoon together walking around campus buying books, finding the lab and getting ice cream from the famous campus creamery. It was a good day.

Where I am today? Well, it's much closer to #1 of the options above.

Not that things are bad per say, just really really busy. I'm stressed and overwhelmed with all I have going on. I'm questioning why I signed up for this and if I'm capable of making it through in one piece. I do like what I'm learning but it's stretching me. And sometimes stretching hurts. Sometimes I'm not sure if the stretching is going to snap me. I'm writing papers in a way I just don't understand. I'm researching for people when I'm not sure I know what I'm doing. I'm working in groups where there is tension and personality conflicts. And all of that is mentally exhausting.

Not to mention I have a husband and two kids at home on top of school. Oh yeah, and a boss who expects me to show up and be productive at work. Others in my program (who are mostly young and single) have told me they are amazed I am doing all this with kids. Frankly, so am I. And even then, I'm not so sure I'm doing it all that well. I'm worried about my kids. I thought this wouldn't affect them much, but BG is having some issues at school now. I'm questioning if she is sensing and reacting to my stress.

JM is being a incredible help, but I can see that he is also feeling the pressure. He smiles and reminds me that this is what grad school is like. That it's about more than classes and grades. It's about teaching you to learn in a whole new way, force you to interact with those not of your choosing, to stress you out and make you prioritize because you can't possibly do it all. Some days I think I'm just barely holding on.