Thursday, June 11, 2009

Follow the Money

My husband has a wonderful job that provides for our family. Recently, his employer has been pressuring him to consider moving to the home office (1000 miles away). We have been researching the area, schools, housing prices etc and we feel like it would be in the best interest of his career. At this point, we feel that if he wants to advance in the company, it is best for him to be located at the home office.

This has got me thinking. I have always been of the opinion that you go where the work is. Our hope is that one day I will be able to stay home with kids and we will be able to live on his income. Because this is the plan, I have always felt that means we would do what it takes to make his career successful - because it will be paying the bills. But I know not everyone feels this way.

I'm not sure exactly where or why I acquired this attitude. Perhaps it came by way of example - growing up we lived 2000 miles away from my Dad's family. My Mom's family was scattered through surrounding states. I assume that most of my siblings feel the same way because two of them have moved far from home for employment. The youngest is still in school.

The thought of moving far away from family is scary. I love being close by and having the option of Grandma as a babysitter. I have great neighbors, love our house and would be really sad to go. But I am also excited about the possibility of a new adventure, living outside the bubble, and advancing JM's career.

Where do you stand on this issue? Are you willing to go where the work is or do you prefer to find work where you are?

*No, this is not an announcement that we are moving. It's still in discussion. I'll let you know if/when it will happen.


Jay and Michelle Teerlink said...

For us as you know we will always live far away from family because of Jay being in the military. What has helped me out is making friends out here. Because I am a Navy wife I got invited to join a support site by the creator and one of the wives of a guy in Jay's department. That has been the best thing that happened to me. I get out of the house and get to go do the fun things that are out here and my kids are making friends, at least Kaden is at this point. What also helps is the Ward family. Become involved in the ward, and attend activities that you are able to. For us there is always a chance we'll get to be close to the Teerlink side if we move east coast, but for now we will be here because it is where the services are for Kaden. I honestly love being out of Utah and away from immediate family. It has cuased me to come out of my shell and just see how much I am able to do on my own. If you would like to know more, feel free to e-mail or call.

The Smiths said...

Obviously, you can see where we stand on this issue too:) We have moved away from both sides of our family to follow a job we felt would be good for our family. It's hard sometimes, and we miss being close to family. It would be nice to be able to get together just for dinner or something sometimes. Plus, it's really nice to have the built in babysitters, but we have made some really great friends being away from all our family. Friends who feel more like family than just friends. Of course, it can be really hard and I think it's a very personal decision. You have to honestly decide what's best for your own family. Good luck making that decision! And as soon as you're ready to share where it is you have to tell us!

Meredith & Company said...

This is a tough one. I think that both approaches can be successful, as you never know what either scenario will bring in the long run. I know you will both make the right decision if the opportunity presents itself. I also have to say that I hate decisions like that. Those are the big challenging, nasty ones...not like whether I should cut my hair or not :) I'll stick with the hair-cutting, thank you very much!

Erin said...

We spent last year in Iowa, and really grew together as a family. And I really miss it! When we were looking for a job (since my husband just finished his Ph.D.), we ended up choosing somewhere in Utah, which is where my family lives, although they live 5 hours away. We could have chosen Kentucky or Tennessee, but ultimately we felt like this was the best job. I think it happened to be in Utah; we went where the best job was, not where family lived. Does that make any sense?

Julie and Carlos said...

I think that when push comes to shove - you live where you work. If you can do that close to family it's always nicer..... but once you are an adult - your husband and kids are your family. Rely on that - and you'll be happy no matter where you are.