Mother's Day Book

I am a follower of Amy's blog Mother Load. She is hilarious and insightful and tells motherhood like it is. She also has written a book, When did I get like this?, which I'm sure is as hilarious as her blog. Buttoned Up is giving away three copies of her book. I'm getting an extra entry by posting this. Click here to see the giveaway, but don't enter because I want to win!



Did I mention this would make a great Mother's Day gift for girlfriends with young kids? I didn't? Well, it would. Go buy it.

Flashback

Do you ever hear a song on the radio and it throws you back in time. That just happened to me. Since my go-to work radio station is no longer on the air, I have been trying others. The one that has been on today apparently likes playing some older songs. (They also played the theme song from Titanic earlier.)

Anybody remember Savage Garden? I'm pretty sure they were a one hit wonder with their song Truely, Madly, Deeply. That song just came on the radio and I was suddenly a giddy 16 year old with my first boyfriend. This was our song. The thought of him crooning these lyrics to me made my heart melt.

I want to stand with you on a mountain

I want to bathe with you in the sea

I want to lay like this forever

Until the sky falls down on me

Oh, Andrew. I was so in love with you. It didn't matter that you enjoyed playing with my heart and hardly returned the affection in the later years. It didn't matter that you were brilliant with zero ambition. It didn't matter that my parents disapproved of you. You were central for me. I orbited around you with a pull that I couldn't escape all through high school.

I wonder what became of you. I wonder if drugs consumed you or if you ever decided to grow up. I'm soooo glad we didn't work out.

Big Sister Blues

BG is a great big sister. She loves on her baby sister, helps mom, and is generally very well behaved about the newest addition to our family. She has done such a good job adjusting that I haven't made any special effort to help them get along.

Now Blanche is 3.5 months old. She actually rolled over the other day (tummy to back). BG is starting to misbehave just a bit more. She is throwing tantrums and not listening. She gets up in the middle of the night and wants to get in our bed. I can't help but wonder if she is feeling a little left out. I wonder if she is feeling put off when ever I delay playing to feed Blanche. I wonder if she is feeling bad when she gets disciplined, but never sees us do the same to her sister.

Now I know that I need to make a special effort to help BG feel loved. I think she needs more individual time with Mom and Dad. She needs time to run and play and be a little girl without having to worry about being careful around the baby. Even as I write this I'm mentally searching our schedule to find the time to make that happen. Our days are busy. The days I work, there is not a lot of free time after the commute, making & eating dinner, cleanup, and getting ready for bed. The days I'm home, I have both girls and need to attend to both their needs.

I am trying to enroll BG in a dance class to help give her something that is just hers. The city class schedule won't be out for another few weeks. The studios don't have classes during the summer. The weather isn't cooperating for outdoor play the days I'm home.

I realize that I'm whining a bit here. I'm just trying to figure out the best way to help BG know she is special while still taking care of Blanche.

It's a Term of Endearment

If I told you that I'm thinking of someone who is fat and hairy, who might you imagine?














Someone like this?





(I wish I was invited to the gun show!)





Well, you would be wrong. I am really thinking of someone that looks like this.












Isn't that a much better image? JM was a offended when I called Blanche "fat and hairy". But really, it's true. Luckily, her fat and hair is all strategically placed to optimize adorableness. JM was the one who added "toothless" to the title.

Blessing Day

Blanche was blessed this past Sunday by her grandpa. We had a family get together after church and had a great time. I feel so lucky to have so many family close-by and to have family who came in from out of town.

It is so rare for us to get a family picture together, I was thrilled to see how well this one turned out!
Me and Blanche. She is almost 3 months old!

BG is an awesome big sister. She loves to help out, hold her sister, and talk for her.

First Day Back - By the Numbers

1: Number of days I've been back at work
2: Number of kids I left behind this morning
4: Number of times I almost started crying on my commute
5: Number of times I was welcomed back (so far)
72: Number of unopened emails
100's: Number of emails I will be deleting from the past 3 months when I declare email bankruptcy
4: Number of hours I've made it through so far
5: Number of hours still to go today

0: Number of times I've actually cried

So far, so good.

The Truth

Most of my posting on this blog is about my kids, family events, or the random thoughts that spew from my head. But every so often, I feel the need to chronicle something a bit more serious. This will be one such post. Feel free to click away if you aren't in a serious mood.

I have thought for a long time about writing on this subject. I haven't yet for various reasons - it may come as a surprise to some of my family/readers, I don't know what to say, or even a little fear of being judged. But here it goes...

I am an active member of the LDS church. I go to church, I fulfill callings, I try my best to teach my girls about Jesus Christ. My wonderful husband does none of those things. He has been "inactive" for several years now. He only goes to church when I request it as a favor to help with the kids. He doesn't do any of the primary answers and has no desire to change. His belief system is quite different than mine.

As you can imagine, this has been a challenge in our marriage. The beliefs that I hold so dear, the ones that guide my life, he doesn't share. It wasn't always this way. When we first met, and married, we were on the same religious page. Over time, his beliefs have changed and we have had to deal with that as a couple. In some ways, it has made our marriage much stronger. In others, it has nearly ripped us apart. I have gone through a series of emotions dealing with this - anger, embarrassment, apathy, doubt, and finally acceptance. It has taught me to truly respect others with different views, not just begrudgingly tolerate them. I have learned that we all have struggles and that marriage takes work. I have learned that as long as there is love, respect and communication in a marriage, you can overcome anything.

I have had to examine my own beliefs and decide how I feel about them. It takes much more effort to live my religion by myself. JM is incredible supportive and encourages me to live my faith - for this I am lucky and grateful. Having dealt with this for many years, my concerns surrounding it have shifted. I used to be embarrassed to go to church alone. Now I worry that my girls will be excluded because of their father's inactivity. I used to be jealous of women with church-attending husbands. Now I worry that my husband will be misjudged based on one aspect of his person. I worry less about myself and more about the impact of intolerance on my family.

My husband is intelligent, funny, sensitive, curious, loving, caring and a great provider. He is a wonderful husband and father and I love him immensely. So here is my shout-out to anyone else who has a wonderful spouse/child/parent/friend who doesn't believe like you do. It doesn't have to be the end of the relationship. It is an opportunity for both people to grow and deepen the relationship. Even though this is not something I would have choosen for my life, it has made me a better person and for that I am grateful.

Elusive Smile

After I fed Blanche this morning I thought I would try a get a good shot of her smile. It is so cute and she does it all the time, but we haven't been able to get it on camera yet. These were the best I got. We tried pinching her cheeks to get a smile. It kind of worked.

Ignore the lack of make-up. BG thought these were pretty fun.

When we went for our two month visit, Blanche was 11 lbs 13 oz and 24 inches long. She is growing like a weed! She is in the 95th percentile for height and 75th for weight. The doctor actually said "She's lean.", which I thought was funny considering she is carrying around at least a pound per cheek.