Thursday, April 9, 2009


JM and I have had several deeply personal and emotionally revealing conversations lately and it's made me think about marriage and relationships. It's been an especially interesting view as I watch my brother prepare to get married in a few weeks.

I remember being back in the early days of our relationship. We were like any other couple newly in love. There was giggling, excitement, hormones, and more hormones. Every touch made my heart pound and the sound of his voice produced butterflies in my stomach. I have a very distinct memory of one date when we went to the mall to see a movie. We were sitting on a mall bench waiting to go into the theater and were daydreaming about our future together. It was the kind of daydreaming you can do when you've never had any challenges. We mapped out our future together; the perfect life. It was thrilling to plan on being together, what we would do, where we would go and the bricks we would use to build our lives. We were unstoppable.

Fast forward 6.5 years into marriage. We have gone through challenges. We have struggled, doubted, cried, and pushed on. The newness of our love has settled into a quiet comfort. Now planning our future looks different. It stills has the excitement of planning our lives together but now within the realm of reality.

What I really like about being 7 years into our relationship is the depth of trust and understanding we have developed. Little by little, chat by chat I have opened up more to him and our relationship. We have created a safe place where we can explore ourselves, all the corners of ourselves that we don't like to recognise. I have discovered some fears that are deeply buried in my heart. They have been able to come to the surface and be explored because I trust him and know it's safe.

So even though the new days of marriage are filled with romance and excitement, I love this stage too. I didn't realize then the depth and security that can be achieved in a marriage, but glad to be experiencing it. In light of this, I wonder what another 10, 20, or 30 years will go for our relationship. Thank you JM for many wonderful years, for listening, caring, and loving me. I love you!

I'm linking this to Mama Kat for Writer's Workshop. Go visit for more.


Kristina P. said...

Very well said, Jessica! I've loved all the stages, and while their different, they've all been great.

rychelle said...

what a beautiful post.

you two are lucky to have found each other.

Erin said...

That was really great. I can relate to this so much!

Jessica G. said...

We're coming up on 10 years. And I agree - each phase in the relationship is different but just as wonderful.

Mary said...

Great post! While the beginning stages of my marriage was anything but a honeymoon (due to deployments), we've learned so much about each other, and have grown together through all our trials.

ukyankoz said...

Awesome post! You are so lucky to have someone that you can be that open and honest with. I think I love that part of being married best!